So my roomie/bff has started this challenge (she’s about a week in) and I have had so much fun reading the posts, so I thought I would join in. I don’t like the order of the letters though, so I’m going to switch it up. I’m excited and nervous as I am going to be as honest and personal as I can be with these letters. Also, I might write a couple in a day. So bear with me, aight?
- People cutting into my lane
- Boyfriends forgetting dates and leaving to go hang with the guys
- Trying to express your emotions and failing or being ignored
- Vocal Adrenaline throwing eggs at Rachel Berry
- Dead cell phone batteries
- Loving milk products and being lactose intolerant
- Being afraid that I’m going to fail in the Nursing program
- Shaving my legs and armpits and other things
- Ex boyfriends
- Pulling hair out of my hair brush
- Getting mascara on my newly done eyeshadow
- Chipped fingernails
- Lipstick on my teeth
- Rude customers
- Screaming children
- Having to pay for things
- Being massively horny and never getting enough sex
- My new push up bra. I wanted a little oomph, not my breasts in my ears
- Sweating for nothing
- My boyfriend’s ex sitting outside in her car for FOUR HOURS!!!
Yea. I think that’s my rant for right now. Ugh. I want to set something on fire
So I have decided everyday I’m going to post some for a bucket list. Starting later today
The other day was summer solstice, meaning that summer 2012 is (officially) here! But I honestly can’t believe that half of this year is almost gone already. I finally got to take some pictures with Chris, so I’ll put those up at the end of the post, okies?
I have been so SO frustrated with my face recently. I haven’t broken out this badly on my forehead in over a year probably. It has made me sooo self conscious, which led to me putting on more makeup. More makeup = more acne! Epic Fail Sia! Plus I took a step back and looked at my diet….which was just horrible. I haven’t been drinking water, I don’t think I have eaten fruits or veggies in a week, and junk food has become a staple instead of a treat. Chris hasn’t been eating well either. So we took a huge grocery shopping trip last night at like 10 pm. Went to the local Safeway, bought tons of greek yogurt (the Fage brand. I don’t particularly like the plain stuff, but it’s pretty good if you mix it with some fruit in a blender!), salad, orange juice, mangoes, string cheese, whole wheat bread, lunch meat etc. So hopefully that will start clearing my face up! Plus I have been using a new clarifying lotion that my mom bought which is helping a TON. It’s Arbonne, apparently this fancy Swiss company? Not completely sure, but i LOVE it. It dries out my skin waaaay too much if I use it more than once a day, so I put it on at night.
Enough of that! Here’s some pictures of me and Chris playing on his old elementary playground!
Purple slide that I almost fell off of >_<
He’s SO cute!!! Argh! lol
So yea, that’s a couple of the photos. Expect more! Because I got a Droid 4 and figured out how to sync it to tumblr through instagram. I are smarter than phone…for once. That thing kicks my butt >_<!
Also, I think another reason my skin is being a freak is I am SO stressed!! My apartment lease is up in like a month or two, and my roommates didn’t pay their portions of their rent, so we might be getting evicted!! I can stay with Chris while I find another place (I pretty much am there 24/7 anyway lol) but it’s just FRUSTRATING!!!!!! I guess we’ll see what happens….ugh. Praying that a place will come up that I can afford!
I want you all to know you are extremely beautiful/handsome. Don’t believe anyone if they say you aren’t, because they’re lying. I am so thankful for you guys, because I feel like there are people out there that believe in me and my craziness. I believe in you guys too, more than you’ll ever know!
I love you guys very very much! Have a good day, start it out with a smile, you’ll be amazed to where it leads!
Even though I’m not getting married this summer like I had been planning for the last 7 or so months, I can’t get weddings out of my head. I’m not sure if it’s just because it’s me, and I have thought about what I want in my wedding since I was about 5, or something else. I know I’m not regretting ending my engagement with Tim, but wedding planning is DAMN fun. Honestly, I’m thinking about the idea of being a wedding planner. I had planned this summer to work at a local wedding boutique that wanted me to model for them, but actual wedding planning hadn’t come into my mind until a few days ago.
Looking back, I think I wanted a wedding more than a marriage. The glamor of planning the wedding, the glow from all my congratulations etc. But when I think of actually getting married, and being with someone the rest of my life, I feel like throwing up. And not in that omgn I’m so excited way either. In a “holy snot I almost made a huge mistake” way. And I mean no offense to Tim, honestly I don’t. Just because he wasn’t the perfect guy for me, doesn’t mean that he won’t be for another girl. And I fully believe that whomever gets the privilege of marrying him is one lucky lady. It just wasn’t me is all.
My mom recently asked me if I could see myself being married to Chris, just out of curiosity. My family is from the Old South, so they’re pretty conservative, and don’t really like the idea of dating just for…well sex. As I took a moment to contemplate my answer, I realized that I would marry Chris someday. If he got down on his knee right now I’d probably say not now (poor guy lol) because I know I’m NOT ready for that. But I can see us sitting out on a porch together, having breakfast before work and sharing bubble baths. I couldn’t see that with Tim. Now it doesn’t mean that Chris is automatically my perfect soul mate, but the fact that I can see BEING married to him, instead of just the wedding, makes me really happy.
yea, that’s my rant for right now lol. What are you guys up to this lovely monday evening, hmm?
Why is it that I feel so insecure when it comes to ex girlfriends? I mean, Chris’s last girlfriend he hated. Like, he’s threatened to get a restraining order against her. She is a lunatic - for example, punched him as hard as she could in the neck; while he was driving! And the girlfriend before that? 3 years ago. But I think the fact that he got down on one knee and proposed to her is why I’m nervous.
Honestly I think it’s just that I found one of those rare guys that is a prince charming and you want to keep forever, and I’m terrified of losing him. It drives me insane though, I’m not used to dealing with these kinds of feelings. We talked about it a couple days ago. Chris said that he wishes I wouldn’t worry, that those ex’s are ex’s and in the past for a reason, and that I’m in his present and hopefully his future for a reason. Which was really sweet and just made my heart melt. But I get…literally sick to my stomach feeling when I think of Kelly or Bridgette. Ugh. UGH!!
Advice, pretty please? Someone tell me I’m being an idiot, or that my feelings are understandable and valid. Please, I’m begging you!
So I’m sitting here with Chris, Sterling and Dayla. The boys are playing Gears of War 3, Dayla is cheering and well, I’m being a tumblr nerd aha. I was just thinking about how happy I am now, and I haven’t been this way in a really long time. It’s honestly depressing, when I look back now and I see how unhappy I was in my previous relationship, but that I thought it was normal, that it was my fault and that it wasn’t going to change.
I’m proud of myself now. I took the stand, got my courage and made a decision for myself, even though I knew it meant hurting people. And dealing with the backlash of ending an engagement. Which honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it was weird because most people were telling me “Good job Sierra! He is a dick!” blah blah blah.
So here’s my advice. I don’t care how long you’ve been in this relationship, if you’re unhappy, end it. Stop that shit in its tracks. Please. For me, for yourself and for them. If you’re not happy at least 87% of the time, it’s not worth it.
We close in 20 minutes. Have I ever mentioned where I work? So Chris’s Dad Scott, before he was killed, and his best friend Tom built this hot tub place from the ground up. Now it’s one of the biggest in the nation. And I get to work there. Pretty cool, right? It’s crazy, I guess Scott had such good customer service, that there was this award created, the Scott Smith award for Customer Satisfaction/Service. It’s nationwide and a HUGE honor. Chris and his Mom got to award it to MHT (where I work) and I guess people started crying. It was really emotional I bet. A lot of people were broken when Scott was killed.
It’s funny because I met Scott when I was like 4 or 5. Chris’s grandparents lived next door to me when I was little we figured out, and I remember once I got lost in a grocery store in town. And I saw this man, and I was like “DADDY!!!!!!!!!!” And ran smack into his leg. Except it wasn’t my Daddy - it was Chris’s Dad Scott. Who then helped me find my parents. I didn’t realize it of course until I saw a picture of Chris’s Dad from around that time period, and I started crying “I know this man!”. It was super cool. Yea.
Blaaaahhhh. 10 minutes till closing. I wanna go home and nap for an hour until Chris gets home from work. I miss him, we haven’t seen much of each other because I work on his days off, and he works on mine. :( sad panda, right? I finally got internet, so I’ll be writing more personal posts on here than just reblogging pictures like I have been. I mean, I’ll keep doing that, but I am totally gonna take the time to sit my butt down and write. I miss it honestly. I’ll probably start another one after I post this actually.
Okies gotta gooooo
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