The other day was summer solstice, meaning that summer 2012 is (officially) here! But I honestly can’t believe that half of this year is almost gone already. I finally got to take some pictures with Chris, so I’ll put those up at the end of the post, okies?
I have been so SO frustrated with my face recently. I haven’t broken out this badly on my forehead in over a year probably. It has made me sooo self conscious, which led to me putting on more makeup. More makeup = more acne! Epic Fail Sia! Plus I took a step back and looked at my diet….which was just horrible. I haven’t been drinking water, I don’t think I have eaten fruits or veggies in a week, and junk food has become a staple instead of a treat. Chris hasn’t been eating well either. So we took a huge grocery shopping trip last night at like 10 pm. Went to the local Safeway, bought tons of greek yogurt (the Fage brand. I don’t particularly like the plain stuff, but it’s pretty good if you mix it with some fruit in a blender!), salad, orange juice, mangoes, string cheese, whole wheat bread, lunch meat etc. So hopefully that will start clearing my face up! Plus I have been using a new clarifying lotion that my mom bought which is helping a TON. It’s Arbonne, apparently this fancy Swiss company? Not completely sure, but i LOVE it. It dries out my skin waaaay too much if I use it more than once a day, so I put it on at night.
Enough of that! Here’s some pictures of me and Chris playing on his old elementary playground!
Purple slide that I almost fell off of >_<
He’s SO cute!!! Argh! lol
So yea, that’s a couple of the photos. Expect more! Because I got a Droid 4 and figured out how to sync it to tumblr through instagram. I are smarter than phone…for once. That thing kicks my butt >_<!
Also, I think another reason my skin is being a freak is I am SO stressed!! My apartment lease is up in like a month or two, and my roommates didn’t pay their portions of their rent, so we might be getting evicted!! I can stay with Chris while I find another place (I pretty much am there 24/7 anyway lol) but it’s just FRUSTRATING!!!!!! I guess we’ll see what happens….ugh. Praying that a place will come up that I can afford!
Even though I’m not getting married this summer like I had been planning for the last 7 or so months, I can’t get weddings out of my head. I’m not sure if it’s just because it’s me, and I have thought about what I want in my wedding since I was about 5, or something else. I know I’m not regretting ending my engagement with Tim, but wedding planning is DAMN fun. Honestly, I’m thinking about the idea of being a wedding planner. I had planned this summer to work at a local wedding boutique that wanted me to model for them, but actual wedding planning hadn’t come into my mind until a few days ago.
Looking back, I think I wanted a wedding more than a marriage. The glamor of planning the wedding, the glow from all my congratulations etc. But when I think of actually getting married, and being with someone the rest of my life, I feel like throwing up. And not in that omgn I’m so excited way either. In a “holy snot I almost made a huge mistake” way. And I mean no offense to Tim, honestly I don’t. Just because he wasn’t the perfect guy for me, doesn’t mean that he won’t be for another girl. And I fully believe that whomever gets the privilege of marrying him is one lucky lady. It just wasn’t me is all.
My mom recently asked me if I could see myself being married to Chris, just out of curiosity. My family is from the Old South, so they’re pretty conservative, and don’t really like the idea of dating just for…well sex. As I took a moment to contemplate my answer, I realized that I would marry Chris someday. If he got down on his knee right now I’d probably say not now (poor guy lol) because I know I’m NOT ready for that. But I can see us sitting out on a porch together, having breakfast before work and sharing bubble baths. I couldn’t see that with Tim. Now it doesn’t mean that Chris is automatically my perfect soul mate, but the fact that I can see BEING married to him, instead of just the wedding, makes me really happy.
yea, that’s my rant for right now lol. What are you guys up to this lovely monday evening, hmm?
Why is it that I feel so insecure when it comes to ex girlfriends? I mean, Chris’s last girlfriend he hated. Like, he’s threatened to get a restraining order against her. She is a lunatic - for example, punched him as hard as she could in the neck; while he was driving! And the girlfriend before that? 3 years ago. But I think the fact that he got down on one knee and proposed to her is why I’m nervous.
Honestly I think it’s just that I found one of those rare guys that is a prince charming and you want to keep forever, and I’m terrified of losing him. It drives me insane though, I’m not used to dealing with these kinds of feelings. We talked about it a couple days ago. Chris said that he wishes I wouldn’t worry, that those ex’s are ex’s and in the past for a reason, and that I’m in his present and hopefully his future for a reason. Which was really sweet and just made my heart melt. But I get…literally sick to my stomach feeling when I think of Kelly or Bridgette. Ugh. UGH!!
Advice, pretty please? Someone tell me I’m being an idiot, or that my feelings are understandable and valid. Please, I’m begging you!
We close in 20 minutes. Have I ever mentioned where I work? So Chris’s Dad Scott, before he was killed, and his best friend Tom built this hot tub place from the ground up. Now it’s one of the biggest in the nation. And I get to work there. Pretty cool, right? It’s crazy, I guess Scott had such good customer service, that there was this award created, the Scott Smith award for Customer Satisfaction/Service. It’s nationwide and a HUGE honor. Chris and his Mom got to award it to MHT (where I work) and I guess people started crying. It was really emotional I bet. A lot of people were broken when Scott was killed.
It’s funny because I met Scott when I was like 4 or 5. Chris’s grandparents lived next door to me when I was little we figured out, and I remember once I got lost in a grocery store in town. And I saw this man, and I was like “DADDY!!!!!!!!!!” And ran smack into his leg. Except it wasn’t my Daddy - it was Chris’s Dad Scott. Who then helped me find my parents. I didn’t realize it of course until I saw a picture of Chris’s Dad from around that time period, and I started crying “I know this man!”. It was super cool. Yea.
Blaaaahhhh. 10 minutes till closing. I wanna go home and nap for an hour until Chris gets home from work. I miss him, we haven’t seen much of each other because I work on his days off, and he works on mine. :( sad panda, right? I finally got internet, so I’ll be writing more personal posts on here than just reblogging pictures like I have been. I mean, I’ll keep doing that, but I am totally gonna take the time to sit my butt down and write. I miss it honestly. I’ll probably start another one after I post this actually.
Okies gotta gooooo
We still have 10 hours to go. We’re both awake. GO!
Some might have pictures….some might not!
That’s crazy, it can’t be that soon! Okay…after this is april…may…june..july…august 4th…..No. Really about four months from now, and I will be a wife.
I’m so excited! Time has just been flying by, which is good, fly by time, I want Tim to be home and us to be in front of a crowd in black and white! But my goodness, I didn’t realize it was this close already. One thing about having a low-key family wedding is that it’s really not stressful to plan so far. I have had a smaller budget than planned, which has lost me 1 bridesmaid that I practically cried over, but I guess Mom and Dad will shell out cash for a honeymoon instead? Oh well, win on that part!
Now to figure out where to go…..Or to not go and save the money….
Does a blanket fort in your living room count as a honeymoon?
I think so…
It’s pretty short and really quite mushy, and I am SO HAPPY
I haven’t really posted a lot about what’s been going on recently except in little bits and pieces, so I thought I’d write a big ole post about it all! Also going to start the My Soldier bit here soon, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about…well you will!
It’s spring break in my neck of the woods, and has been since the 8th. Ends on Sunday, but I’m pretty excited to get back. I counted, and there’s only about 35 days of school for us college kids, including Finals Week when I get back. That’s SO exciting. Don’t get me wrong, I love my classes, but I’m ready for my first year of college to be OVER with!! Because that means I only have to survive through the rest of summer basically, and then Tim and I get married in August :O! OMGN!
Okay, so for those of you who don’t really know what’s going on, I shall fill you in. Basically (I’ll be doing a more in depth post soon, hopefully in video format!) Tim and I have known each other since we were like…8 ish. Maybe a little older. We basically hated each other as kids, he thought I was the annoying little frilly thing and I thought he was a bully. Sophomore year rolls around, hormones kick in, and we start seeing each other in a different light. Have been steadily together, never broken up since! February he signed up for the Army Reserves, March 5th he shipped out for BCT in Fort Jackson SC. Had 2 phone calls, about a minute each and that’s all that I’ve heard from him so far. I’m coping without my best friend. Some days are better than others…
After he gets back, we are planning to be officially married on August 4th (YAY!!!) and then will start college together in the fall!
Lots of planning happening right now. Mom and I are going shopping tomorrow for decorations and stuff for Tim and my apartment. Already have my dress, veil, the place we are going to do it (hopefully), invitations, food and decor ideas. Just have to you know…put everything together.
Not sure where we are going to honeymoon. We don’t exactly have the biggest budget open, because we’re going to be buying a car soon….and those badboys are eeexpensive!!!!!! So we’ll probably just go somewhere relatively local!
Yea that’s it on my end, how about you guys? What have you been up to? Anything? Lemme know!