Throw the damn ball, already!! via

I think I peed laughing

crazy lady cat organizer

When I have cats, I will have a cat organizer. And I will label their boxes. This is going to be great!
Everytime someone lies and I know it, I have this immediate urge to shout “you sit on a throne of lies!!”
Dream Job? $100 per tumblr post.

That would be amazing don’t you think? 

Tripped up the stairs. Walked in the door and asked my boyfriend to kiss my knee because it hurt and his roomie ran up, kissed my knee and ran away laughing hysterically. Great people.
My boyfriend and his roomie are watching Zombies vs Vampires on Deadliest Warrior. I love those two.
is that a goose in the background…?
Me:I just wanna cock slap him!
Un:We could just..Punch him?
Me:Or we could cock slap him with a summer sausage. or a rooster. That'd be fun. Lets do that one.
"Forever?" "If I say forever, what will you do?" "Be the happiest man alive."
When your boyfriend’s ex posts old pictures of them together so you take some just to be like “Hey bitch, he’s mine now. You lost! :)”
so horny…WHY are you working for the next 2 1/2 hours DAMMIT!
Twat you say?
I cunt hear you!
Nevermind, we'll finger this out later
Sittin on Chris’s futon. Should be studying for my Business Final or searching for apartments…but he’s too good looking and is distracting me :D
Running Account of Funny Shit Chris Says/Shouts in His Sleep
What are you doing?
That's upside down....Fix it.
You have to wash it first dammit!
Dirty forks!
MORE!! Wash it MORE!! I love you!
baaaaaaby...hey! HEY
Like a possum on a log...
I'll be right back
*Unintelligible mumbling*
Well...then work on it..
That makes sense. I think.
But they're hairy