So much has happened in the last couple months that I can’t even believe it. Especially this last month. I broke off my engagement, moved into an apartment and am looking for a house. I met the most amazing man, or rather realized he’d been in front of me the whole time, and said goodbye for now to two of the most amazing women I have ever had the privilege to meet. I pulled more all nighters than all semester and managed to get a B in a class I thought I was going to fail. I smoked weed for the first time and learned I hated it. I watched people go through heartbreak and start healing. I spent far too much money, but I can’t bring myself to regret it. I have learned more about myself in this past month and a half than in three years. I guess it’s because I’m finally allowed to be myself again. While I’m still part of an us, I am an individual. There’s no more stifling feelings, or being someone else to make anyone else happy. I’ve realized it’s not worth compromising my character or my happiness to make someone else happy. It’s just not, no matter how selfish my choice may seem. I won’t regret it. I can’t. I’m too happy.
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Finals week is officially over for me. Pretty sure I failed my final, but you know what? Can’t change it now!
Trying to find an apartment to live in over the summer = a pain in the ass.
I broke off my engagement a while ago. Dating a new man :D named Chris. Might steal facebook photo and stick on here? Mwahaha….
Should be in the shower shaving my sasquatch-esque hairy legs….
Going to meet Chris’s Momma on Mother’s Day weekend.
My mom bought Chris soap. Yea. Lol I love my Mom.
Mom bought ME soap! FTW
Glee’s on Tonight
I actually feel pretty as of recently….Crazy shit right?
We still have 10 hours to go. We’re both awake. GO!
Haven’t done one of these bad boys in FOREVER!! So here goes!
- Sushi from Rosauers!
- The Hunger Games movie
- Getting letters in the mail from Tim
- Creeping on Echo Company’s facebook for pictures
- Knowing that I’m going to clean the heck out of my room today/tonight/tomorrow
- Cotton Candy
- New purses
- Ro Sham Bo
- It being Friday
- Betty Johnson Sephora by OPI scented nail polishes
- Engagement Rings
- Wedding Planning
Okay, that’s it for now! Maybe more later, the day’s not over yet!
Some might have pictures….some might not!
Do you understand darling, how much I love you? How happy it made me, when you took me under the stars and asked me to be yours forever?
Normally the days passing so quickly depresses me, I feel like I’m losing track of life, but this time I applaud the speed of life. This is because I know that soon you will be home from Fort Jackson, and after that I will walk down the aisle with my father at my side, trying not to cry as I see that smile. Your smile. The smile that belongs to the man I will soon be calling my husband. Every night when I feel like crying from missing you, I just imagine two things: Me running into your arms as you walk out of the security gate in the airport, and walking toward you wearing white.
You are my best friend. I used to think that I would never able to call a man “my best friend” because I thought there were so many things we would never be able to share. I couldn’t complain to you about period cramps, and you would never go buy me Kotex and chocolate. But you listened, you ran to the store for me, and you did it all with a pervading kindness that I fell for so fast. You have always been there for me, through thick and thin with a gentle understanding, and warm strong arms that helped me through. You prayed with me, you loved with me, you hoped with me. You watched movies that you hated, just because you knew that I loved them and they would make me happy. I swear, I have never laughed as much in my life as I do with you. Sometimes I can see the questioning look in your face when I don’t laugh at your obviously funny jokes, but usually it’s because you made me laugh so darn hard that I have a sore tummy.
Being in high school at the time, I had been surrounded by loves that just weren’t made to last. Most people would be wary, and assume that this was just another puppy love. With us though, it was obvious it wasn’t. You and I both know that people have said “I can see you two getting married someday”, and here we stand. On the brink of slipping on our rings and declaring that we did indeed marry our high school sweetheart.
Beginning of March we started a new journey together. You left to go join other courageous soldiers for BCT in Fort Jackson. I was asked the questions “Are you okay with this? Are you sure? You’ll be waiting when I get back?” over and over. I said yes to all, but you saw the fear that was starting to grow, and you lovingly held me as I cried (and ruined your shirt I believe) for hours the two nights before you left. You held me as I sobbed and said “I can’t wait till we’re married” and told me that I am already your wife. Which of course made me cry harder. As I stood there with a gate between us waiting for you to board the plane, I saw you smile at me. And though you said no actual words, I know you were saying “I love you, and it’ll be okay I promise”.
And you were right. I’ll be here, waiting and planning the event to make us man and wife, though in both our eyes we already are.
I love you forever Timothy,
I miss making this list. Thus, it’s getting made. Right now. Things that I am happy about at this moment. I’m going to start writing these down in a notebook I have decided. You guys know the book 14,000 things to be happy about? I’m making my own!!!
- Getting to hear Tim’s voice when I woke him up. This one is kinda odd, but I love how he sounds all sleepy and cute.
- Knowing how blessed I am with material things. I’m always complaining that I need more money to buy stuff…but I’m so so blessed with stuff already.
- Smells. Specifically the Old Spice scent on Tim’s T-Shirt that I sort of forced him to give me before I left. MWUAHAHA!!!!!
- Going to sleep. It’s blissful.
- Awesome house talks with really good friends.
- Having too hot a room, then opening your window to feel the cool breeze come in. mmmm.
- Christmas lights. In February.
- Origami Pikachu.
- Looking up cheats for Tim while he plays Sonic.
- Shoving two mattresses together to make one giant awesome mega bed.
- My giant book of awesome things I have said.
- Writing. In a new notebook. Nuff said.
- Waiting for a package to arrive (pre-mailbox check. You know, before you realize it’s not here yet)
- Late morning classes.
Yea. I could go on forever, but that would be a ridiculously long post. G’night soon world!